Hello gorgeous creatures, it’s been a delightfully decadent Christmas, a deliciously deviant New Year and a damn right disgraceful Valentines, but then I’m a very naughty girl and you wouldn’t expect any less of me… x
Q1: Dear Annie I find it hard to sustain an erection what is your advice and experience with Viagra?
A1: Dear Mr Floppy I am greatly saddened that you struggle to stand to attention and will do my utmost to guide you back to blissful erections. Viagra as you know is the market leader in the hard as a rock world of erectile assistance. In all my experiences with it you’re reborn as an energiser bunny and just keep going, so if you take this route, prepare your lady for sleepless nights, as once you pop you won’t want to stop! However, in some cases mental or medical, you aren’t able to take Viagra (kill yourself now, life is over, ok maybe that’s an exaggeration, actually it’s probably rubbish, but I just couldn’t help myself). There are herbal alternatives, none of which I’ve had the pleasure of being at the receiving end of, but may well be the salvation you’re looking for! There are lots of sites giving advice and opinions, a friend of mine in the know suggested you go to askmen.com as they have helpful hints to rev you up up and get your end away (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)! There are supposedly ‘magical’ potions that promise the hardest erection with the strongest aphrodisiac ingredients, but be careful as many of these are ineffective and don’t have high enough dosages to be successful. There are also new fangled gadgets, that promise the king kong dong, but many of are fruitless, so again watch out! You need to try to work out what the reason is behind your floppyness and then hunt out a solution to suit. Please do keep me posted and if you find that wonder stuff that turns you into a walking, talking, throbbing, truncheon give me a call as I’ll definitely need to make your intimate acquaintance!
Q2: Hi Aunty Annie, I think my girlfriend may be escort, she’s suddenly got loads of cash and is supposedly working as a dancer, but I went to the club to see her and they’d never heard of her. Her behaviour in bed has changed too, for the better, but it’s still different, what should I do?
A2: Hello Mr Suspicious and Delicious, if you’re girlfriend is so amazing in bed you should be grateful. Most of my clients in relationships complain that their partners aren’t exciting or adventurous enough! Also, does she share her new found wealth with you? Do you benefit from her more affluent lifestyle? A good escort can make seriously good deniro’s so if she is escorting she is likely to be making more money than she would be dancing. You need to question why she may be escorting, does she have any secret debts she needs to pay off and hasn’t told you about? Are you complimentary to her? Some girls come into the industry for the constant admiration they receive from their clients, for many men, the touch of young nubile flesh reduces them to a quivering wreck and I personally love the thrill of creating good quiver!
She may not be escorting though, she may have a wealthy sugar daddy, that is showering her with money and teaching her things you could only dream of doing in the sack. Sometimes a girl needs to be taught new things and it needs to be with someone they don’t know that well and therefore are less inhibited with. Some people find it easier to let go and throw caution to the wind when its not so close to home – I have clients who just love me to screw them with a strap on, but wouldn’t be seen dead wearing one in polite suburbia and would revile it publicly till they were blue in the face, but in private they find it the most divine thing in the world! Anyway I’m sidetracking again, my life is just one big diversion though, it gets very confusing! The only way you can find out for sure really is to confront her, but before you do, be sure you want to hear the truth; you may find out its just a lucky bingo trip and a stimulating sexy book. Or it could be a sugar daddy – girls love their daddies – or she could be escorting, or she could be dancing and has changed clubs without telling you… Until you ask her you won’t know, but don’t ask if you can’t handle the truth. Anyway treasure if it all goes wrong, I’ll ease your troubles away and if you’re a very good boy I just might let you meet my strap on!
Q3: Hi Annie I’m a bit nervous about giving my boyfriend a blow job, do you give lessons and have you got any tricks of the trade?
A3: Darling girl blow job, blow dry it’s all easy if you know what you’re doing and lucky you, I’m going to impart a few my secrets to help you not all of them though, I’m far too selfish! To start with I can give lessons, but the best way would be for me to show you, is in person on your boyfriend. So let me know if you’re brave enough, it may be one of the greatest experiences of his life – my teaching you, rather than the blow job I give of course, although I’m regularly told I’m the best, so you’re going to be outstanding when I finish with you! Imagine you’re a man and have man’s funny looking tackle – we women have such beautiful bodies and our bits are so neatly tucked away – try to imagine what would be the most sensual erotic sensation when having someone going down on you as a man. The tip of the penis is very sensitive so I often start off lightly flicking the tip with my tongue. Don’t forget the balls, boys are obsessed with their balls, and the balls don’t like to be left out. A bit of cupping, sucking and licking goes down a treat! Every man likes a bit of deep throat, this can be a bit tricky as you need to relax your throat muscles, to start with try it on an empty stomach as somehow I don’t think your boyfriend will find you vomiting in his lap erotic and sexy! Try putting your hand in front of your mouth and gripping his penis running your hand up and down his shaft, chasing it with your mouth, this usually goes down extremely well too. Finally to graduate from the Auntie Annie School of blow jobs you need to visit the land of the bottom. A lot of men in the heat of a blow job moment enjoy a tongue or finger up their bottom, so be brave and give it a go, remember to lubricate your finger though! Now this is a beginners guide to get you started and once you’ve mastered this we’ll go onto some more complicated oral contortions. In the meantime, I want you to trot along, go forth and blow! Good luck and happy sucking.
Go Back
